Celebes Crested Macaque

WE’VE MOVED, COME AND JOIN US YOU BIG SMASHER!

The rather delightful Celebes crested macaques can be found bobbing around the forests of Sulawesi, formerly known as Celebes, in Indonesia.

... I say!

There they have come down from the trees to live on the floors. The macaques are a curious bunch who will happily pop down out of the forest looking for tasties. On Sulawesi they are a tad rare, thankfully on a number of islands nearby they are a bit more populous, what with there being less of those big bald apes making a blasted mess of things. The islands with a decent population of the beggars aren’t hindered by the fact that they are a remarkably randy wee bunch.

... a rather unlikely looking island...

You see the ladies are rather promiscuous, God bless ‘em. Actually that’s the last thing He’d do isn’t it? … moving on… The chaps of course are rather promiscuous too, though we’d expect them to be; that’s what we were all taught in biology class. You’ll remember that chaps are bounders and cads and will get as many fillies in the sack as possible. Fillies on the other hand are delightful creatures who will only sleep with their husband and only then with the light off and with none of that funny stuff involved… though it doesn’t take a degree in advanced calculus to work out that 1 + 1 equals fun, so it shouldn’t be a big surprise that ladies are rather partial to putting it about a bit too.

While it’s true that chaps do tend to be promiscuous, and will try the rather rakish ploy of getting as many fillies up the duff as possible. Nuptials and reproduction are also rather important for the fairer sex too. Indeed it can be beneficial for her to pick out a couple of chaps… or more. If she has more lovers she is more likely to have a wee one, and if she has a litter they may have a nice spread of genes… and be therefore more likely to survive. The males may offer her food or protection for nuptials, and when she does have kids the male may have his suspicions about them looking a bit like Geoff two doors down… but when it comes down to it he’s a couple of millennia off sussing out that using polymerase chain reaction or restriction fragment length polymorphism is probably the most effective method of paternity testing… and is more likely to find sniffing what he’s just scratched off his buttocks a profound intellectual awakening… and will just go on assuming that Timmy is his child.

That’s why ladies of many species put it about a bit… promiscuity is the norm. Only a few percent of creatures are considered monogamous and then it is very rare that they are found to be not naughty when scrutinized. Animals that are considered faithful such as the swans very rarely are, studies in other ‘monogamous’ birds have shown that if the male partner is sterilized year in and year out the female will have young. While it’s thought that 90% of birds are said to be in a monogamous relationship it’s thought that 90% of that 90% in fact have a little bit extra on the side. The queen honeybee’s maiden flight is anything but virginal… quite the opposite – she’ll mate with about 40 drones on the way. The list could go on and on.

Though we wouldn’t be too judgmental of the Celebes crested macaque if we were you. It wasn’t that long ago that your ancestors were bobbing around along to the forest floor, edging out of the forest looking for tasties… and indeed other funny looking apes to have some fun with… lots of them.

Published in: on April 7, 2010 at 2:35 pm  Comments (2)  

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. [...] a rather cheeky young lady for your delectation over at Vol II! … I say! Published [...]

  2. Thank God that they have come down from the trees, as you cheerfully pointed out. I can’t imagine the anguish of having one pop down butt first and landing on and engulfing one’s head. Actually, now that I’ve let my mind wander…I CAN imagine it, and what a bizarre sight it is!


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