Sea Pigs

There’s something surprising about this sea pig fellow’s family… and it’s not that they are a bit wet, porcine and on the salty side.


The wee pigs live on the seabed, all pink and podgy tottering around on their wee trotters, slurping up all the gubbins that rains down on the seabed with their piggy snouts. These sea pigs live in odd little herds too, where they bob around eating what not, getting eaten by things and… well… that’s about all we know to be honest. The problem being that it’s rather difficult to stay in touch with piggies that live on the deepest ocean beds, though all is not lost dear reader as thankfully we’ve managed to get to know their relatives. Though as we said they are considered a rather flabbergasting bunch, even when they are at soirees with their salty little hog cousins.


Sea pigs are from the holothurian family, also known as the sea cucumbers, a type of echinoderm… that’s right starfish and urchins and what not. The sea cucumbers are found all over the shop, at least all over the shop in the sea, what’s more they have a really rather surprising trick up their sleeve.


Gaaaaaah one knows what you’re thinking, you think old Pilkie’s going to tell you that as a defence mechanism they belch their intestines out of their anus. Well yes that is indeed surprising, and is quite often cited as the worst party trick in the sea. Though the sea cucumbers have an even more remarkable trick; they can liquidize themselves. Yes of course many animals can liquidize themselves, it’s just that the sea cucumbers manage to act all alive afterwards. Part of their arsenal of trying to not be gobbled down by something, as if hoiking your wibbly insides out in front of a rapscallion isn’t enough. The sea cucumbers, with the aid of a clever compound called ‘catch collagen’ can turn themselves into a bag of soup and pour themselves into a crevice before acting all solid as if nothing had happened. Remarkable, one is sure you’ll agree.

oink... oink... oink... oink... oink... oink... oink... oink... oink... oink... oink... oink... oink... oink... oink... oink... oink... oink... oink... oink... oink... oink... oink... oink...

The family of the sea pigs, quite a surprising bunch one is sure you’ll agree… and as for the sea pigs, if you do meet them do tell them to get in touch.

Published in: on November 16, 2010 at 10:07 pm  Leave a Comment  

Sarcastic Fringehead

Blast it he’s seen us, no escaping from the sod now, it’s the sarcastic fringehead… great.

... Oh right, yeah I suppose you think that’s really clever, I never thought you’d caption me being sarcastic… yeah brilliant...

Quite the scallywag he is too always picking a fight if anyone is daft enough to bob into his backyard. Though it’s what happens when a male member of his own species pops by that is remarkable. If George from down the road has the audacity to stroll through his garden, as he does, he’ll have to put up with the owner running up and planting an enormous sloppy fishy kiss on him.

... woo, can't wait...

He’s not being friendly either, nor is he continental for that matter. It’s a big aggressive smacker, the saracastic fringehead open up their mouths as wide as possible, and wrestle away. What they are doing is quickly trying to work out who is the biggest chap, and so not to be trifled with… yes quite we covered this in Volume I of the Ever so Strange Animal Almanac when we talked about the hooded seal’s nose balloon antics.

So that’s an end to The Proceedings for tonight, I’m afraid. Here’s some nice moving pictures for you;

What’s that? More you say? Are you being sarcastic? No? Smashing! Well let’s talk about sarcasm, from the Greek sarko; to tear flesh. Vicious humour, it’s as old as houses, really old houses, indeed you can find examples in the Old Testament… actually that would explain a lot of things. Actually let’s not bother with all that nasty sarcasm bobbins, let’s talk about humour.

We learn to laugh before we talk, but you won’t be surprised to hear we don’t really know how it came about. We know that laughter is a shock to the brain, we laugh when something unexpected happens when something slips on a banana skin, or when something that is brown and sticky turns out to be a stick.

... oh do tell us about a vague evolutionary psychology concept... that’d be really interesting...

So how did laughing happen to come about? Well current thinking is that a laugh isn’t simply a response to a chicken crossing a road, it’s a social thing to say everything is just fine. It’s though that perhaps it began as a visible signal, a flash of the teeth and a hearty chortle was a good way of quickly conveying ‘I say that sabre-toothed tiger that was looking a tad troublesome has in fact slipped on that funny shaped fruit and fallen over… has anyone mastered the art of lighting a fire? One is sure it’d make a delightful supper… no… perhaps someone present has stumbled upon the concept of introducing yeast to a fruit to ferment it and we’ll have a jolly old shindig…’ though it was of course a lot easier to ‘say’ and so it’s stayed with us… which is jolly.

What’s that you say? Interesting?

Bah… now you are being sarcastic.

Published in: on November 2, 2010 at 7:40 pm  Leave a Comment